How to Design a Space that Brings People Together

By Ashley Patterson

Remember the formal living room at your grandparents’ house where furniture was meant to be seen but not used (and definitely not by kids!)? I lived in fear of ruining something in that room! Thankfully those days are behind us, and today’s living rooms are all about bringing people together, creating spaces where real life happens. Through my years in NYC and now as I settle into country living, I’ve learned that the most inviting living rooms strike an important balance between style and real life. Here are a few of my favorite tips for living room design:

1. Prioritize Layout & Flow

The secret to a welcoming living room starts with a well thought out plan for the space. Before you start impulse sofa shopping, think about how you’ll actually use the space (and even try to sketch it out!). Create distinct conversation areas where people can naturally gather and chat. I recommend leaving at least 36 inches for traffic flow around main pieces, and arranging seating so that people can easily make eye contact without craning their necks. Don’t be afraid to get out the painters tape and tape off furniture outlines so you can get a feel for the flow! 

[ design: Instillerie]

2. Don’t Sacrifice Comfort for Style!

Comfortable seating (and plenty of it!) is non-negotiable. Mix up your options with a deep, cozy sofa, a pair of comfy chairs, and some flexible pieces like ottomans or floor cushions that can be moved around as needed. In my experience, people tend to linger longer when they’re truly comfortable, so don’t sacrifice comfort for style – you can absolutely have both!

[ design: Instillerie, photo: Katelyn Perry]

3. Create Atmosphere Through Layers

A welcoming living room needs more than just furniture – it needs atmosphere! Layer your lighting at different heights (overhead, table lamps, and sconces) to create ambiance. Add texture through rugs, curtains, throws, and pillows. Remember, window treatments aren’t just decorative, they help control light and add softness to a room. I love using vintage textiles or meaningful mementos as artwork. It adds personality and can be a great conversation starter!

[ design: Instillerie, photo: Sean Litchfield ]

4. Pay Attention to Details

It’s the little things that make a living room feel lived in and loved. Your coffee table can be both functional and beautiful – I like to think of it as a little stage for daily life. Keep throws within easy reach, make sure everyone has a place to set down a drink, and don’t forget about storage for real-life items like remotes, charging cables, kids’ toys, etc.

[ design: Emily Henderson; photo: Tessa Neustadt]

But Wait - What About When Life Gets…Real??

I’m with you – life is real, and it can get messy! If you have kids or pets (or both like I do!), choose materials that can handle some wear and tear. Performance fabrics have come a long way in comfort, style, and durability. Consider ottomans with hidden storage, baskets for toys, and furniture arrangements that can adapt as your needs change. 

Remember, the best living rooms aren’t created overnight. They evolve over time, collecting stories and memories along the way. Focus on creating a space that works for your life, not just for your Instagram feed. Start with the basics: comfortable seating, good lighting, and thoughtful layout – and then layer in the personal touches that make it uniquely yours.

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